When Retro Den closed, I honestly never thought I would again feel the light and passion that I got to experience owning and running that space. I am and always will be devoted to choosing joy and finding peace in the life I lead, but knowing that not everyone gets to have their dream job surrounded by dream people doing dreamy things alllllll the time, I had come to a place of gratitude that I had been allowed to experience that.
However, since attending that fire-lighting Oklahoma State School Board meeting in August, I have experienced the breathlessness of fascination with work again, and I am so thankful. With my goal of “just showing up,” I started attending all Tulsa Public School Board meetings and all Oklahoma State School Board meetings. I realized that I have something many do not, and that is time, my friends. I saw deep injustice at the meeting in August, and wanted to know how far a person could take making change. Realizing that the state school board is appointed by the governor, I delved into working on the governor race over the past few months. And I also worked on the state superintendent race. If you ran into me during this time, I know you heard an earful. Thank you for listening.
I had mentioned that I would share ways to help. I didn’t get that done in this space, but I did on all my social media and by networking with friends and their friends. I knocked doors. I started facebook groups. I read books. I had meetings. I made so many new friends. I asked questions. I tried to plan a demonstration of sorts at the October State School Board meeting. I dressed like an American Flag and attended the opposition’s rally for insight and out of curiosity. I wrote an Op Ed trying to hold leaders accountable and one trying to call out the republican candidates’ claims that teachers in Oklahoma are “grooming” our children and focusing on indoctrinating them. I “took myself to school” for understanding our Oklahoma education situation with goals to:
Meet and support the leaders who had a beautiful, loving, inspiring vision for our world.
Voice the convictions of my heart (and educate my mind to give weight to my earnest words.).
Lay my head down on my pillow election night knowing I did my best.
As I am sure you know, the election was lost to the leaders who have been using war-like rhetoric and exclusionary practices. I was devastated. But of all things, the humans I had worked so hard to put into places of power, Joy Hofmeister and Jena Nelson, both had concession messages of hope and encouragement. They said we worked hard and saw a large increase in humans joining our convictions for supporting public education and building bridges and community with the entire population of Oklahoma, not just those who agree with us. In their climatic, heartbreaking moment of loss, they said, “The work continues.”
So the next week, I drove to Oklahoma City for the November State School Board meeting and I attended the TPS board meeting that week as well. I’m going to keep showing up. That’s what my heart and body tell me to do. I’ve already seen wins from continuing to step forward instead of giving up.
Taped next to my writing table, I have some words I wrote to myself in an impassioned moment a few years ago, “There is fire in my heart. And fire in all hearts. Love always wins.”
There is so much more to say, but let’s stop here and I’ll be back soon. I hope you are well, warm, and at peace.
Here’s to love and showing up,
Ashley
Smiling with my dear friend Tasha and Jena Nelson who ran for State Superintendent. Jena is so smart and kind. My heart soared at thinking we could have someone like her lead our Oklahoma education system. I’m still so thankful to know her and the people she brought out into the light—people with hope and bright hearts.
Harriet signing Joy Hofmeister’s bus. Joy kept saying she would be a governor for all of us. I loved her message of unity.
Door-knocking! That’s a whole story of its own. Boy howdy!