Loving Kindness and What are People for?

also beautiful flowers!

(Can I ever stare into the face of a flower enough? No. Just want to shove my face on their faces. Do you feel this way too?)

Hello!

The moment I sent my last newsletter, I was excited to start and send my next. Nerd! I think I really miss writing and sharing the way I used to do with my shop, Retro Den. If you joined me last week (or at all ever), thank you. I am glad to have you with me. The world is so full of hard right now, and we have to stick together and build connection and listen to our hearts, and I just want to be a spot of light, if possible.

Hey! A piece I got to write about a local shop, OkieSpice, is out this month in TulsaPeople. If you live nearby or are passing through, the people and products at OkieSpice were impressive and tasty. I liked the owners a lot.

Below are some of the regular topics I have things to say about. Ha. Podcasts, reading, making, gardening. I plan to upload an exciting video of a Swallowtail caterpillar nibbling some fennel in my backyard sometime this week. I’ll link to that in my next missive or you can check back if you can’t stand to wait.

All my love,

Ashley

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Listening:

You Made It Weird with Guest Pete Davis

Pete Davis wrote a book called Dedicated: The Case for Commitment in an Age of Infinite Browsing (now added to my reading list), and he says some hopeful and beautiful things in this interview. I especially liked his reference to a Wendell Berry story of a metal bucket hanging on a fence in a pasture slowly filling with dust, leaves, rain, twigs and seeds from birds, and eventually making incredibly rich soil. This is how a community works. We need to commit to each other and know one another for trust, understanding and compromise to grow. Berry in his book What are People For (also on the future reading list!) says,

“How can they know one another if they have forgotten or have never learned one another’s stories? If they do not know one another’s stories, how can they know whether or not to trust one another? People who do not trust one another do not help each other, and moreover they fear one another. And this is our predicament now.”

I feel the need to know my neighbors. Their names. How they pass their days. If they need or could share a cup of milk when they or I are making quiche and realize we’ve run out. Do you know your neighbors? I’ve been slowly collecting friends on my street. It feels like a place to start

Loving Kindness Meditation with Sylvia Boorstein on OnBeing

I have been listening to this more often and using it as my prayer, my meditation. She leads you through offering yourself, those you love, everyone near and far the hope that we all may feel safe, strong, content and that we may all live with ease. It’s a short version of this traditional meditation, so it feels less intimidating. Try it! Tell me if you do it. I think about so many people from my life when I practice it, maybe even you!

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(I read every last bite of this book in one sitting on the lawn, in the garden, of my local art museum, Philbrook Museum of Art.)

Recent reading:

The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo, This book was quick, and I am excited for Harriet to hear it. It’s about a rabbit doll’s life and personal evolution.

Two women I admire a lot, author Ann Patchett and Krista Tippett read DiCamillo’s books as a source of comfort during 2020. I heard Krista interview Kate on her radio show OnBeing and I sobbed when I heard Kate explain the motivation behind her children’s books. You can listen to that interview here and/or also read her words about why children’s books should be a little sad here. Thank goodness authors are out there writing for our precious children stories to grow their hearts.

Farm City: The Education of an Urban Farmer by Novella Carpenter, This read fast for me. It got very good and very bad reviews on Storygraph. Novella built an urban farm on some abandoned property behind her apartment in Oakland. I like the idea of grassy areas instead being used to grow food or nourishment or to harbor native grasses and wildflowers. I like how her garden brought people together.

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Garden Update:

I’ve been seed saving. I let my lettuce and greens flower and go to seed. They are so beautiful flowering. My strawflower or golden everlasting flower has been setting some seed too. Watch a video of its magic here.

IT’S SO HOT. Bless our earth’s heart. It rained this morning finally, more than a little but not a lot. I’m so thankful for it though. My fellow Oklahoma (or elsewhere!) gardeners—How are you handling the heat and drought?

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Making:

I took an “open sewing” class with Mary of Mary Make and Do in Tulsa. Sewists can work on their individual projects in a nice, clean studio, all while having the brilliant, kind, and generous Mary Perisho be by your side for any assistance.

Harriet cut out a shirt front of her own design and asked me to help make the back of it and sew it all together. I love how she thinks I am magic, but it can also be a bit overwhelming! I put her shirt front on top of some fabric to trace a back piece, and she said, “I just love watching smart, talented people do their thing.” She said it about me! I could have gobbled her up right there.

In addition to making her shirt, we also had one of her Philbrook art teachers, Katy Bruce with Prism Portals, over and learned to make wire wrapped jewelry. We used some of our abalone shells we found on the Pacific Coast on our visit to the Redwoods this past June. It felt so special to elevate our treasures by making them into necklaces or charms to dangle in windows.

(Hello beautiful Philbrook Museum of Art! What a gift it has been for me to drop Hare at camp and for me to get to revel in these gardens and read, work, wander, wonder and swing. Plus Hare gets to spend time with incredibly creative, smart, strong women role models AND be in this gorgeous space. This isn’t all the garden has to offer…I’ll take more photos and share them sometime.)